


Greedy

by kikkimax



Category: Firefly
Genre: Gen, Naughtiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 10:54:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13902546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikkimax/pseuds/kikkimax
Summary: Jayne has always been greedy.





	Greedy

**Author's Note:**

> This is an oldie so you may have seen it somewhere before, I'm just reposting it.

 

As Zoe watched from the infirmary door Simon leaned against the counter and crossed  
his arms over his chest.  When he dropped his head with a weary sigh Zoe stepped  
forward to make her presence known.  “Tired?” she asked.

“Not at all,” Simon denied as he quickly blinked his eyes a couple times, squared his  
shoulders, and then focused his entire attention on her.  The combined effect  
miraculously made him appear rested and ready to get to work.

“Liar,” Zoe accused lightly.  “But that is a nice little trick.”

With a rueful look Simon made his way back to the exam table and his patient.  “Thanks.   
I learned to do that as an intern when tired wasn’t an option,” he explained as he flicked  
on his penlight.  He lifted one of Jayne’s eyelids to check the response before moving to  
the other.  The pupils reacted suitably but Jayne didn’t budge.

“Why don’t you go get something to eat and then rest for a bit?  I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Are you sure?” Simon asked hopefully.

“Well if you hit the deck from exhaustion I’ll just end up taking care of you too,” Zoe  
pointed out.

Simon grinned as he rolled his shirt sleeves down and fastened the cuffs.  “Well he is out  
of the woods.  And I gave him enough smoothers to put down a raging bull.”

“That’s an apt comparison,” Zoe approved as she took up residence on the stool next to  
Jayne’s right shoulder.  “Go on.  I’ll send for you if anything changes.”

Nodding his thanks Simon held out his hand to River who had spent the night on the  
other bed after Jayne’s unplanned surgery was over, uncharacteristically willing to hang  
out in the infirmary.  “I’m staying,” she said in a no-nonsense tone.

“You saved him, mei mei,” Simon told her gently.  “You’ve done your part.”

“Staying.”

“It’s okay, we’re fine,” Zoe assured Simon with an unspoken promise to watch over both  
of his charges.

With one more nervous glance in River’s direction Simon buttoned his vest and went in  
search of sustenance, passing Inara on the way out.  They exchanged greetings and Simon  
gave her a brief update on the merc’s condition before continuing on his way.

As she entered the room Inara smiled at River then positioned herself across from Zoe,  
unwittingly blocking River’s view.  “He looks so peaceful,” she said as she smoothed  
Jayne’s hair back from his forehead, stopping to rest the back of her hand against his  
brow.  “Does he seem a little warm?” she asked worriedly.

“Fever broke during the night,” River announced as she appeared suddenly at the head of  
the bed.  She bent at the waist and leaned in close to Jayne’s face but didn’t touch him  
except for her hair that swept forward to spill over his exposed collarbone and neck. 

Zoe and Inara exchanged concerned glances but didn’t comment as River continued her  
odd, upside-down inspection of Jayne’s features.  Finally Inara had enough and gently  
tugged River around her and down the bed towards Jayne’s knees.  River accepted the  
new arrangement easily and they stood in silence for several minutes as they continued to  
watch the big man slumber. 

“He seems so vulnerable like this,” Inara mused after another few moments.  She  
caressed Jayne’s hand before cocooning it between her own smaller ones.

“Seems to me you missed your true calling,” Zoe told her.  “Quite the bedside manner  
you’ve got there.”

Inara studied her for a minute before accepting the compliment as it was intended.  “He  
could have died.”

“If we hadn’t had a surgeon on board he would have,” Zoe stated matter-of-factly.  “A  
burst appendix while cruising through the black is usually a death sentence.”

“I can’t believe we didn’t notice how sick he was,” Kaylee whispered guiltily as she  
came through the door.

“Damn fool man hid it pretty well,” Zoe said as Kaylee slipped in next to her taking up  
Jayne’s other hand.

“Not like Jayne to miss a meal,” Kaylee disagreed.  “He quit eating two days ago.  We  
wasn’t payin’ attention.”

“Well apparently River was,” Inara said as she sent a sidelong glance at the younger  
woman.  “How did you know when he collapsed down in his bunk?”

River shrugged enigmatically.  “Walls came down.  Now he’s bare.  Easier to see.”  She  
raised a hand and reached past Inara to poke at Jayne’s cheek. 

“Walls?” Kaylee asked.  “You mean like how he keeps his feelings to hisself?”

“He guards his heart.” River stated, allowing Inara to pull her hand away from Jayne’s  
face.  “He doesn’t want it to break again.  Sent him straight into space the first time.   
Now he’s careful not to get involved.  Likes to think he’s not, but he is.”

“Somebody broke poor Jayne’s heart?” Kaylee squeaked in sympathy, lifting his hand to  
her lips. 

River nodded and opened her mouth to give the details. 

“River, stop,” Inara interrupted urgently.  “It’s not proper to divulge a man’s secrets.”

“She’s right,” Zoe concurred.  “As much as I’d love to know what makes Jayne Cobb  
tick; he should tell it himself if he wants it told.”

“Can’t help what I see when he’s open like this.”  River smiled down at Jayne and pulled  
the sheet halfway down his furry chest to rest her hand over his heart. 

Inara sighed.  “It’s okay to see if you can’t help it, I suppose.  Just don’t tell it.”

“Are you… are you still looking inside him?” Kaylee asked, eyes wide with wonder.

“Can’t not,” River explained.  She yanked the sheet even further down to run her fingers  
over the faint outline along his right lower abdomen.  Simon had performed his magic  
skillfully and the mended skin appeared almost as good as new.  But as River pressed a  
little harder into the smooth, pink area Jayne moaned in his sleep.

“River,” Zoe admonished softly, “Don’t get carried away.”  She slid off the stool and  
stepped around Kaylee to catch the sheet before it slipped to the floor.  By resting her  
hand on the portion covering Jayne’s hip she kept River’s exploration from going too far  
south.

“The human body is a beautiful thing,” River said as she continued to investigate the dips  
and planes of exposed flesh with her fingertips.

“Yeah,” Kaylee agreed with a dreamy smile.  She focused her eyes on the gentle rise and  
fall of Jayne’s taunt belly as he breathed.  “It can be.  Especially when it’s all sweaty  
from lifting weights.”

“Jayne’s a might crude but he ain’t hard to look at,” Zoe granted.

“Zoe!”

“What?  I’m married, that don’t mean I’m blind.  I still appreciate the sight of a sweaty  
mercenary every once in a while so long as Wash ain’t around to notice.”

Three of them laughed and River even managed a small puzzled smile but they soon  
grew quiet again as one by one their gazes were drawn down to where Zoe held the sheet  
in place.

“You ever wonder?” Kaylee asked thoughtfully as she inclined her chin toward Jayne’s  
nether regions.

“No,” Inara said much too quickly.  “It’s been my experience that the more a man talks  
the less he has to talk about,” she clarified when everyone glanced up at her.

“I don’t know,” Kaylee drawled, “Seems to me it ought to be big and scary just like the  
rest of him.”

Zoe raised an eyebrow and studied the lump just under the sheet.  “Don’t know about  
scary…”

“We can’t look,” Inara stated firmly.

“Wouldn’t be proper,” Zoe teased without a hint of a smile.

Inara glared at her.  “That’s right.  It wouldn’t be.”

“And it’s not like Jayne would ever look if it was one of us lying there,” Kaylee said  
innocently.

Even River laughed this time and the noise of their cackles stirred Jayne.  “Shhh,” Kaylee  
soothed, quieting him by stroking his face.  He took a deep breath but never opened his  
eyes. “We may never get this opportunity again,” she said when she was certain he was  
still asleep. 

Zoe harrumphed.  “I don’t know, it’s not like he’s modest or anything.  He’d probably be  
glad to show us his manhood if we asked.”

“But he’d want something in return,” Kaylee pointed out.  “He’s greedy like that.”

“Observation without being observed,” River said in an impatient tone.  “Get on with it.”

They all looked at the youngest member of the group and then at each other.  In silent  
accord they agreed not to do it.

River glared at them then took a deep breath.  “Human male organ of urination and  
copulation, cylindrical, composed of erectile tissue arranged in three columns.  Corpora  
cavernosa…”

“Well it’s not like she doesn’t already know way too much about the birds and the bees,”  
Kaylee shrugged as River continued to clinically describe the form and function of the  
male reproductive system in excruciating detail.   “She’s gotta see one sometime.”

“That doesn’t mean Jayne wants to be her real life anatomy lesson,” Inara insisted.

“He already offered to show it to me,” River broke off her graphic monologue to say.

“Oh he did, did he?” Zoe asked, turning an angry eye to Jayne.

“I told him Jayne was a girl’s name,” River explained lucidly.  “He said he had man-bits,  
offered to show me.  Simon was there.”

“Oh.” Zoe breathed a little easier.

“That does sound like something Jayne would say,” Kaylee replied.  “He can’t take it  
back now.”

“Because he’s unconscious.”

“He did offer.”

Inara winced.  “Simon won’t like it…”

“It’s research!” River insisted in exasperation.

“Simon’s a prude.  What he don’t know won’t hurt him,” Kaylee said, sounding a little  
miffed at the doctor on general principle.  “River’s old enough to make this decision all  
on her own.”

“That’s right,” River agreed stubbornly.  “I want to see Jayne’s man-bits.”

“Oh, all right,” Inara finally gave in, realizing she wasn’t going to win.  “Let’s see it.”

Zoe looked at each one of them in turn then spared a glance behind her for the door  
before slowly lifting the sheet.  “Damn,” she said simply.

“Well.” Inara cleared her throat.  “That is impressive.”

Kaylee swallowed.  “Okay, so I ain’t exactly… scared.”

“I am,” River swore solemnly, her eyes riveted to the sight.

“That ain’t nothing yet,” Kaylee explained with enthusiasm.  “Wait til you see one all  
riled up.  If we was to stroke it a little…”

“Kaylee!” Zoe and Inara shouted at the same time.

“Wha’s goin’ on?”

With a flick of her wrist Zoe covered Jayne all the way to his neck.  “You’re dreaming,  
Jayne,” she told him sweetly.

“Dreamin’?” Jayne grunted as he looked in confusion at all the faces gathered around  
him.

“Yep, all a drug induced dream,” Kaylee assured him with a kiss to his temple.

Jayne closed his eyes and leaned into the contact.  When he opened them again he  
grinned dopily at the women around him.  “Good dream.”

“He always was a friendly drunk,” Zoe said with a smile as Jayne gathered up as many of  
their hands as he could reach and tucked them under his own beefy forearm before  
drifting back to sleep.

“And greedy,” Kaylee added affectionately.

 

The end


End file.
